PALM BEACH, FL - Former President Donald Trump has offered Elon Musk a "tremendous deal, maybe the best ever" to buy Truth Social for the low, low price of $39 billion dollars. This is a full $5 billion dollars cheaper than the amount Elon Musk requires to purchase Twitter.
Truth Social is Donald Trump's groundbreaking Twitter alternative that isn't at all like Parler, Gettr, Gab, or MeWe. It's a completely unique platform and therefore worth a premium price, but Trump claims he wants to do Elon Musk "a solid" and sell the platform at a discount.
"Twitter is a total disaster. It's full of bots and crazy Bernie bros. It can't be fixed," said Trump while shooting hole-in-ones at the Trump International Golf Club. "Truth Social doesn't need fixing. It's already perfect. It's the greatest social media platform of our time. Many people are saying that. Everyone is saying it, really. Elon would be crazy not to take this deal."
Elon Musk has reportedly been critical of the offer because Truth Social has thus far only attracted MAGA conservatives, Fox News, and leftist trolls to the service. "I want Twitter because it's the town square of the Internet," he said. "Truth Social is kind of a poser."
"He's just negotiating," said Trump, dismissing Musk's claims. "He'll come around. Don't be a fool, Elon! Don't be a fool!"
At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to call Elon Musk's mom "fat," further demonstrating his amazing negotiation skills.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
