ARIZONA—Illegal immigration has come to a screeching halt thanks to a wall of screeching moms. President Trump saw videos of the Portland moms on Twitter and quickly got an idea: kidnap them and dump them on the Southern border to deter illegal immigrants.
As soon as illegal immigrants see the wall of screaming moms, they stop in their tracks and turn the other direction, realizing America isn't the place to go for people wanting a land of peaceful opportunity.
The moms were unable to see the scenery change due to their giant goggles and helmets obscuring their vision. They continued to shout "DIE, SCUM! DIE, SCUM!", thinking they were shouting at police defending federal buildings from vandalism. But they were actually shouting at immigrants from Mexico and Central America, making them rethink their decision to move to the United States.
"Honestly, I'm not that interested in the United States anymore," said one refugee as he turned and fled from the U.S. border. "If this is what America has become, I'll just take my chances with the drug cartel. At least they have some kind of law and order. This is just chaos."
"Thanks, but no thanks."
Once the moms are done scaring off illegal immigrants, Trump will deploy them along the borders of Nevada, Arizona, and Oregon to stop Californians from fleeing to the United States as well.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.