Church
Catholics Kneel In Mass Protest, Then Stand, Then Sit, Then Kneel, Then Stand

WORLD—In a Mass protest Sunday, Catholics around the world knelt in protest of something or another, then stood up in another apparent protest against the previous protesting, then sat down—the meaning of which is unclear— then knelt again, then stood up again.

It was all very confusing to religion and political commentators.

"Maybe they're mad about Luther still? I don't know," said one Protestant analyst. "It could be racism or something, but Catholics in every country from pretty much every ethnicity are kneeling and standing and sitting, so that can't be it."

“The messaging these days is very unclear. All I know is we are protesting something,” said one devout Roman Catholic.  “Like, I’m not sure if the kneeling is the protest part or if it’s the standing. I know when athletes kneel for the national anthem, that’s a protest, but, then again, just last week one athlete kept standing and everyone else was kneeling and that was considered a protest. It’s all very ambiguous.”

Unfortunately, Pope Francis added to the confusion when he gave a homily about how brown fragility is contributing to systemic racism, which is then causing both police brutality and global warming. During this time he instructed the Roman Catholic faithful around the world to repeat the cycle of kneeling, then standing, and then sitting, and then kneeling, and then standing again.

Cardinals close to Pope Francis attempted to clarify that the Pope was not saying anything about the sexual abuse scandal in the church at this time and was trying to focus his message on global warming, which he believed needed to be combatted by the repeated kneel-stand-sit protest routine each Sunday.
 

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