WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump faced heavy criticism on Friday for replacing White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia with Jessica Rabbit.
Critics pointed to her prior work as a lounge singer and the fact that she wasn't technically human as two major red flags.
"It's obvious that Trump just wanted a pretty face behind the podium, but a lounge singer? How's she going to convey the president's agenda?" questioned MS NOW personality Rachel Maddow. "Press secretary used to be a prestigious role. Who would have thought the position once held by Karine Jean Pierre could sink so low?"
According to press coverage, Maddow's sentiments were not isolated. Several journalists and political commentators expressed concerns that the president was ignoring the importance of education and prior experience in favor of only two very big qualifications.
Trump hit back at his critics: "Yeah, she's beautiful. So what? I do not see as a man sees; I look at the heart. You think I only hire blonde women, but look, I just hired a red-headed toon. But the media will never be fair with me. So very unfair. Sad."
But not all criticism is focused on her outward appearance. Fox News' Sean Hannity said, "She's not even an American citizen! She's from Toontown. Shouldn't we be hiring American citizens for White House jobs? How is this not a national security issue?"
Only podcast host Tucker Carlson had no complaints. "She's married to a rabbit. I'm not into it personally, but it's not crazy," he said. "She thinks he's a very attractive rabbit, I'm sure. Why should we judge rabbit lovers? She even took his last name. That's a very conservative ideal. She is Mrs. Rabbit."
At publishing time, the White House had yet to respond to concerns that they hired a Toontown immigrant to speak for the president.
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