PALM BEACH, FL — Sources close to Donald Trump report that the presidential candidate "absolutely devastated" Kamala Harris' statements labeling him as weird with the brilliant response "I know you are, but what am I?"
According to Trump's campaign staffers, the sick burn occurred during one of Trump's scheduled press conferences as he was answering a question on his economic policies and how they related to China.
"And on day one, we'll be bringing jobs back to Americans," Trump reportedly said, absolutely shredding an air-accordion with his hands. "But Kamala Harris — Chameleon Harris, I like to call her…I'm telling you, folks, you look at what she's doing with her heritage now — and her statement about me as 'weird' just struck me as odd, very odd. And so I called her up now, I've known her indirectly for years, and I just said, 'I know you are, but what am I?' And that shut her up, let me tell you, absolutely wrecked her. She hasn't been roasted that badly, maybe ever, except for when I do it. I'm absolutely the best at roasting, you know, absolutely the best — everybody says so! But like I said, we'll be bringing back jobs from China . . ."
Political analysts are still reeling from the magnificence of Trump's comeback. Citizens around the country are still emitting howls of laughter and shouts of "Ooooohhhh, got ‘em! Dang, son, ya burnt!"
At publishing time, Kamala had gotten absolutely flamed again after she called him fat, only to be met by a stunning "Yo mamma! Everyone tells me, yo mama is so fat that she makes William Howard Taft look like Arnold Schwarzenegger!"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
