Trump Campaign Demands Stimulus Of 8 Million Votes
Politics · Dec 23, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congress has sent a stimulus bill to President Donald Trump to sign, but Trump has denounced the bill as "inadequate." Trump is now demanding that more stimulus is added to the bill, particularly that needy presidential candidates be awarded 8 million more votes for president.

"Every presidential candidate who is behind receiving 8 million more votes will really be the boost this country needs," Trump said in an announcement broadcast on Twitter. "It just feels good to get all those votes. And if we get the right votes to the right person, it could really change things this next year."

If Trump's idea is passed, each American will get 8 million votes for them to be president, evenly distributed among the 50 states. This vote stimulus will be means-tested, though -- anyone who already has 80 million or more votes to be president won't receive any vote stimulus.

Congress seems to be behind this idea, as all of them would love lots of votes to be president. There will be a clause, though, that if someone for some reason doesn't want the 8 million votes, they can get a check for $600 instead.


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