WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has just become the first fascist in the history of humankind to use his despotic powers to reduce the size of the government.
While most other fascist leaders throughout history have used their power to increase the scope of government influence in their respective countries, Trump has broken with tradition to become the very first fascist with a focus on dismantling his own government's overreaches.
"Only time will tell, but Trump must have something extremely nefarious up his sleeve if he's doing his fascism by making government smaller," said Lee Glyde-Jennings, who teaches several classes on the history of fascism at Harvard. "It's entirely unlike every other fascism in history to this point — I'm just waiting to see how he's going to wind up instituting a fascist dictatorship by carefully picking apart the government bureaucracy."
"You know who else gave up power and was a fascist?" said Martyn Rogers, a Yale professor. "Hitler. Hitler was a fascist who gave up his power at the end of World War II. Be afraid of Trump. Be very afraid."
At publishing time, several Democrats had also warned that Trump would soon start World War III by making peace with other nations.
Travis is back on his mission to interview everyone. Next on the list is celebrity chef and restaurateur Andrew Gruel.
