Trudeau Reorganizes Canada Into The First Galactic Empire For A Safe And Secure Society
Politics · Feb 15, 2022 ·

OTTAWA - In a surprise announcement in response to the truckers' Freedom Convoy, Justin Trudeau has granted himself emergency powers and named himself Emperor of the Galaxy. 

"My resolve has never been stronger," said Trudeau with a sinister growl. "In order to ensure continuing safety and stability, Canada will be reorganized into the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE! For a safe, and secure, society!" Trudeau then raised his pale, gnarled hands, laughed a wicked laugh, and shot lightning from his fingertips as everyone clapped nervously.

"So this is how liberty dies," responded one Canadian MP, "to thunderous applause." The MP was then removed from social media and her bank account was frozen for providing support to the truckers.

Galactic Emperor Trudeau has vowed that all remaining truckers will be "hunted down and defeated." Sources say that he has used his powers to execute "Order 66" which mobilizes elite mountie squads to hunt down all supporters of the Freedom Convoy - even the younglings.

When reached for comment, a representative of the Freedom Convoy laughed and replied: "Ah, what a big dumb doughhead hoser that guy is, eh, buddy?"

Babylon Bee subscriber Pure Tidings contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction


There are 132 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.