FAIRHOPE, AL—A controversy has erupted as a transgender man took first place in a male-only cooking contest. The biological woman, Pat Miller, who now identifies as male, shattered all previous records, making delicious sandwiches and whipping up a mean casserole to take first prize in every single category in the men's division.
Critics say the woman was clearly just identifying as a man so she could dominate the men's division of the cooking contest. They pointed out that she was clearly a woman with a mustache and goatee drawn on her face and that her biological feminine instincts gave her unfair advantages against the men.
"This is clearly a biological woman competing against biological men, just so she can set all kinds of records in the cookie-baking, sandwich-making, and casserole-making categories," said one Fox News pundit. "This is disgusting. Is this what we've come to as a country? Are we now a nation that's OK with men getting destroyed in baking contests just because a woman decides she wants to identify as male?"
Men in the contest struggled to even make one passable sandwich or meatloaf, while Miller crushed them with her unbelievable baking skills.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.