CULVER CITY, CA - Sony Pictures Studios has added its voice to those of corporations all around the world protesting Russia's incursion into Ukraine. Studio execs announced this week that for all digital streaming and physical copies of Rocky IV, they will blur out all depictions of the character Captian Ivan Drago, a boxing champion from Soviet Russia.
"We stand with Ukraine here at Sony," said VP Stacy Green. "We understand that depictions of the villainous Russian Drago may be seen as insensitive to many viewers during these difficult times. While we will not cut any scenes from the beloved film, all scenes featuring the Russian character will be pixelated."
Execs also confirmed that all instances of the word "Russia" will be dubbed with less upsetting words, "rubber ducky," "rascal," and "f--- Putin."
Other studios are already following Sony's lead, removing depictions of Russians from movies like Rambo and Red Dawn. Hollywood hopes their collective efforts will help counteract the millions the Biden Administration is spending on Russian oil.
At the time of publication, it is still unclear whether any of this is helping.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
