GOTHAM CITY - Edward Nygma, commonly known as the Riddler, has once again taken multiple hostages and hidden them in a secret location that only Batman can find if he solves his intricate riddles. Unfortunately for Batman, the Riddler has him stumped by asking the most impossible question of all: What is a woman?
"Riddler, stop playing games and tell me WHERE ARE THEY?!" growled Batman.
"Eh, eh, eh," said the Riddler, wagging his finger and appearing on a nearby screen. "You'll never see them again unless you answer my most diabolical question yet: What is a woman?"
"Someone who menstruates?"
"Wrongo Batman! You just reduced a woman down to her reproductive organs! What if she can't menstruate or reproduce, is she still a woman then Bats?!"
"Obviously, she's still a woman." retorted Batman growing more frustrated. "Fine. It's a trick question. What it means to be a woman is different for each woman and for them to decide."
"Oh tsk tsk tsk my dear Batman! You just used the word as a part of its own definition which fails to define the word!" said the Riddler. "Tick tock, tick tock Batman. You don't have much time left."
"Alright, alright. A woman is an adult human female based on genetics."
"That's correct, but not very inclusive! Congratulations, transphobe! You just saved the hostages and got yourself CANCELED all at the same time! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled the Riddler.
The Riddler then hacked into Gotham's news feed and broadcasted the hostages walking away unharmed, followed by a recording of Batman's hateful, narrow-minded statement defining women. Gotham City Police Department immediately issued a warrant for Batman's arrest with orders to shoot the transphobic bigot on sight.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
