ACALA, TX — Residents of a small Texas border town have expressed their sympathy for New York City as it buckles under the weight of a few thousand migrants.
"Wow, it must be tough to be one of the wealthiest, most powerful cities in the world while sheltering a few illegal immigrants," said Arnie McClanahan while making his way through a crowd of 150 homeless strangers in his front yard. "As a citizen of a tiny border town currently populated with only 36 Texans and 89,000 illegal immigrants, I know how difficult that must be for them."
Leaders from the small town met to discuss ways they could possibly alleviate the suffering of stock brokers in SoHo, supermodels in Tribeca, and Broadway actors in Greenwich Village. "Surely, there must be something we can do to help those poor folks!" said Meemaw Gunderson, who runs the local homeless shelter currently populated with 20,000 border crossers. "Those poor souls won't be able to hold out much longer!"
New York City Mayor Eric Adams has begged for aid as his city struggles to provide for the handful of people who have been sent there from the border. "What am I supposed to do for these people?" said Adams. "I'm only the Mayor of the sanctuary city of New York, for goodness sake!"
At publishing time, the people of Acala had elected to send New York City 10,000 more migrants to assist city workers in settling the migrants already there.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
