ST. PAUL, MN — Governor Tim Walz has emerged from the den of the Governor's Mansion to declare that there will be six more weeks of rioting and fraud.
"We know this is all silly, but it's fun," said handler Marsha Billingsworth. "It's always rioting and fraud season, but the Governor-coming-out-of-the-den tradition is good family fun that brings in some tourism money, which will help offset the costs of all the rioting and fraud in the state."
Once a year, Minnesotans cheerfully gather around the mansion to see what the governor will do, depending upon whether or not he sees his shadow. If he emerges from the governor's mansion and sees his shadow, experts say he will begin ranting about Donald Trump, immigration enforcement, and white supremacy, in a clear sign that there will be six more weeks of rioting and fraud. That's exactly what happened this year.
"This year, right on cue, the little red-faced guy came out, saw his shadow, and began blaming Trump and ICE for everything. So, it looks like it's going to be a long season of rioting."
At publishing time, Governor Tim Walz was last seen rooting in his den for more vegetation, fruits, and crops, to recover after the long hibernation of hiding from Somali fraud abuse allegations.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
