NEW YORK, NY—Emerging from his study after months of grueling work, pastor and author Tim Keller proudly announced Wednesday that he had finished his complete translation of the Old and New Testaments into Sindarin, the language of many Elven cultures in Middle-Earth.
Sustaining himself only on water and lembas bread for nearly half a year, Keller had reportedly locked himself into his study late last summer and began his work on the translation on a whim, just after completing one of his weekly readings of The Lord of the Rings.
“The Christian is to be a redeeming force in the rhythms of the world,” Keller said in an online video promoting the new translation. “Now we can truly engage the inconsistency of the Elven worldview with the life-giving power of the gospel.”
Keller further claimed the translation will be available online for free, with the stated purpose of allowing for easier evangelism of the unreached people groups of Lothlórien and Rivendell.
“When he gets in book-writing mode we just kinda leave him alone, and this was no different,” his wife Kathy told reporters. “We’d listen to the door and he’d be talking to himself like Sméagol and Gollum or yelling things like ‘You shall not pass!’ while blasting the movie soundtrack. We were kinda worried for a while there, so we’re glad he’s finally rejoined us in the real world.”
At publishing time, Keller had locked himself in his study yet again to begin work on his translation of the New Testament into the Dwarven tongue of Khuzdul.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.