CHARLESTON, SC—According to tragic reports coming out of Free Grace Church, three individuals almost committed their lives to Christ Sunday, but their conversions were thwarted as the unsaved visitors were reportedly distracted by the worship leader’s noticably “off fleek” hairstyle.
“My wife and I were really moved by the message, and wanted to know more about this ‘gospel’ thing,” one visitor wrote on a comment card obtained by reporters. “But we just couldn’t get past the worship leader’s passé look—it was so dorky, like something you’d expect to see at church or something. Where’s the textured skull fade, people?”
“I’d really have expected a man of God to go with a high fade pompadour, like, at a bare minimum,” another anonymous comment said. “I was looking for hope in my life, but I can’t believe in a God that would let someone wear a hairstyle that out-of-touch in 2016.”
“Not on fleek at all,” the visitor added.
Church leaders issued an apology almost immediately, but it was too late for their visitors, who may have only missed their only chance at salvation.