U.S. — This week, thousands of kindergartners across the U.S. are being dropped off at their local public school for their first day of grooming.
"This is a momentous occasion in every child's life," said elementary school teacher Janx Nymphix, they/them. "We look forward to inviting these young impressionable minds into the world of radical gender theory — to discover more new genders and sexual fetishes than any generation prior! Welcome to school, kids!"
The medical community also celebrated as non-consenting children were stripped away from the protection of their parents by the millions, and ushered into a multi-billion-dollar medical industrial complex sales pipeline determined to turn them into lifelong consumers of artificial hormones, plastic surgery, and abortion. "Welcome to school, kids!" said Boston Children's Hospital in an official statement.
In addition, politicians in Washington marked the first day of in-person grooming by celebrating the formation of an entirely new victim class that could be easily exploited for votes. "Welcome to school, voters!" said the DNC in an official statement.
Public schools are hoping that with hard work, they can get their children gender confused at an advanced level this year, catching up from lost time during the pandemic.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
