THE UNDERWORLD — The Grim Reaper was reportedly seen preparing to use his "Wheel of Death" to see which person to visit next.
Following the deaths of country music icon Dolly Parton and actor Tim Curry, Death was hard at work determining who would round out the well-known "they always come in threes" idiom by spinning his trusty wheel.
"Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows!" The Grim Reaper said. "I just don't have the energy to choose someone today, and this bad boy really helps take the work out of it. No whammies, no whammies! Let's go, baby!"
The wheel contained the names of 13 individuals on the chopping block. "Willie Nelson has been on here for years, but that guy has nine lives," Death said. "He misses every time. This rule of three thing keeps me busy, but then I have some downtime for a while, so I don't mind it."
The Reaper has kept the wheel prominently displayed in the office of his darkened cave home, explaining that it's a popular conversation piece for visitors, though he admitted that some tend to view it as a little morbid.
"It's everyone's time sometime," he continued. "This just adds a little fun and excitement to the process."
At publishing time, The Grim Reaper was seen packing for his upcoming trip after the wheel had landed on "Steve from Iowa."
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
