Home > Church > Thousands Of Church Greeters Laid Off
Church
Thousands Of Church Greeters Laid Off

U.S.—Thousands of church greeters across the nation have been laid off as their services are not allowed at this time.

As churches reopened without physical contact or greeting times across the country, church greeters were the first to be let go.

"Listen, Buck, you've got a great handshake -- but we're gonna have to let you go," said Pastor Nick Evans of Lifeline Church in Las Vegas. "And I mean that literally. You've shaken your last hand."

Introverts quietly rejoiced at the indefinite suspension of the church greeter position, though they simply read the news in the privacy of their own homes and didn't talk to anybody about it.

Luckily, all the church greeters were volunteers anyway and so are expected to land on their feet.

Breaking: Paypal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

There are 24 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.