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CNN Draws Largest Crowd In Years

ATLANTA, GA—CNN executives were baffled by a large crowd outside their offices and in their lobby Friday, not having seen an audience that size in many years.

Execs quickly added the hundreds of people outside their offices to their audience numbers, more than doubling their ratings for the day.

"Woohoo! It's happening!" said the station's founder, Bob CNN. "Brian! Anderson! Come quick! We're finally drawing crowds! Years of hard work finally paying off!"

Peering out the window, Brian Stelter muttered, "No social distancing or masks though. But we'll take what we can get at this point."

Mr. CNN then walked through the lobby handing out fliers inviting the protesters back to watch CNN's failing weekend shows Saturday and Sunday. "This is where it all turns around for us."

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