U.S.—Despite offering thousands of thoughts and prayers to the victims of Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s latest flurry of moronic tweets, the nation’s religious people admitted at long last that their petitions were totally ineffective at preventing the pop astrophysicist from saying stupid things online.
Agnostics and atheists mocked religious people for offering “worthless” thoughts and prayers, rather than “doing something” about Tyson’s inane posts on the internet.
“Where is your god now?” one atheist sneered as it became obvious that thoughts and prayers simply weren’t enough to stop the flood of stupidity. “You guys talk about having this all powerful god, but if he’s so powerful, why hasn’t he stopped Neil DeGrasse Tyson from posting online?”
At publishing time, the nation had rallied around “common sense Neil DeGrasse Tyson tweet control,” to ensure he was unable to inflict massive damage on the nation’s intellect each and every day of the year.