'The Star Wars Finale Will Answer All Of Your Questions,' Says Guy Who Created 'Lost'
Entertainment · Aug 26, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

ANAHEIM, CA - JJ Abrams suggested that the conclusion to the Skywalker saga would be satisfying and answer all of Star Wars fans' most pressing questions.

"You can trust me on this," he said while speaking on a panel at the D23 Expo. "In no way will I leave a bunch of threads hanging, a ton of questions unanswered, and huge plot holes unfilled. I'm just not that kind of filmmaker. It would be totally unfair to the fans for me to just hand-wave away questions, like that it was all a dream or some kind of weird purgatory thing."

"That's bad storytelling, and I won't have it in anything that my name is attached to," he added.

During a Q&A session, one fan began to ask Abrams a question about what actually happened in Lost, but Abrams interrupted: "Uh, check out Rey's new lightsaber! It FOLDS!" and the fan's question was drowned out by the wild screams and cheers of the crowd.

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that the D23 Expo allowed one lucky fan to kick a football held by JJ Abrams for a chance to win $1,000,000, but Abrams pulled the football away at the last minute.

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