PHILADELPHIA, PA — Following a season-ending playoff blowout at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles, members of the San Francisco 49ers were quick to point out that the game's officiating team was clearly to blame for the 31-7 trouncing.
"We can't beat the other team and the refs," said backup 49ers quarterback Josh Johnson, who struggled to complete barely more than half of his pass attempts in the game. "When the game is taken out of our hands like that, it doesn't matter how flawlessly we play."
The 49ers, overwhelmed by injuries to key players and poor execution on both sides of the ball, were confident that the game would have turned out differently had the officials not been diehard Eagles fans. "We were the better team today," said star receiver Deebo Samuel, who had one of San Francisco's three game-crushing turnovers. "Unfortunately, the better team doesn't always win in the end…or even play well…or, you know, score more than one touchdown. Those dang refs, though."
The loss sends the 49ers home as the Eagles advance to the Super Bowl for the second time in five years. Fans of the 49ers echoed the team's criticism of the game's officiating. "If it hadn't been for those eleven penalties, all of which were horrible calls, we would have won!" said San Francisco fan Derek Johnson.
At publishing time, the debate over the officiating crew was sure to continue into the offseason, as the Eagles claimed the highly sought-after prize of being the team that gets to lose to the Kansas City Chiefs (God's team) in the Super Bowl.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.