The 9 Types Of People You Meet In A Church Prayer Circle
Sponsored · Jan 30, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by Christian Freedom International:

A healthy prayer life is essential for Christians and the prayer circle is scientifically proven to be the most effective way of praying. Forming an actual circle by holding hands may not be required, but it makes your prayer 10% more audible to God.

Be advised, you're going to meet a few eccentrics in your prayer circle. We want you prepared now lest you get surprised and your prayer becomes hindered.

Here are the types of people you'll meet in a prayer circle:

  1. The Hand Squeezer: Awkward.
  2. Unspoken Prayer Request Guy: Probably some embarrassing sexual sin. Ugh, why is he squeezing your hand?!
  3. The One-Upper: Everything this individual says seems to be a direct response to every other prayer in the circle. For example, if someone asks God for help with their career, they might say, "Lord, please help all of us with our careers. And not just us, but the whole world."
  4. Hedge of Protection Guy: You can pray a hedge of protection around literally anything!
  5. The Medical Affliction Oversharer: "Lord, please put your hedge of protection around Aunt Millie's feet before the fungus flares up again."
  6. The Filibuster: Just when you think they're done, they keep going. COME ON BRAD THERE ARE STILL 5 PEOPLE PRAYING AFTER YOU!
  7. Bob McSweaty Hands: Poor guy, he's probably freaking out that he forgot the name of the person he's supposed to pray for.
  8. King James: He fits in a lot of "thee" and "thou" language because everyone knows God prefers the King's English.
  9. Todd: He seems the most normal at first, but then he says "Daddy God" with a straight face.

Which one are you?


NOT SATIRE: Right now Christians in hostile countries are beaten, jailed, ostracized, falsely accused, and killed for their faith. How can we help? The first step is to pray.

Christian Freedom International's Prayer Calendar will help you to see - and pray for - persecuted Christians.

This calendar with encouraging pictures and Bible verses will prompt you to pray daily.

Each picture is of persecuted Christians who were helped by Christian Freedom International.

Display it in your home, office, or church.

It will remind you -- and others -- that there are practical ways we can help persecuted Christians.

"As a professor at a Christian university, I begin every class with prayer. CFI's prayer calendar reminds me daily to pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters around the world and to share their testimonies of courageous faith."

Request your Free Calendar here.


World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.

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