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College is more expensive than ever! Many young people are going into debt that will crush them for the rest of their lives to attend college-- all for a degree that ends up being totally useless! But is it worth it? You betcha!
We want you to be as informed as possible before you decide to go to college. Here are some pros and cons:
Pro: You'll learn to master genderqueer feminist intersectionality! Yay!
Con: Genderqueer feminist intersectionality isn't as useful as burger flipping.
Pro: Grandma cares about your degree.
Con: No one else does.
Pro: You won't have to work with your hands when you graduate.
Con: You most likely won't find any work when you graduate.
Pro: Bernie promised debt forgiveness.
Con: He lost the election.
Pro: Your diploma will look great in a frame.
Con: It will hang on the wall of your room in your parent's basement.
Pro: Getting out from under your parents' roof
Con: Dave, your 500-pound roommate who wants the top bunk
Pro: College Football games
Con: Sitting in the nosebleed section, behind all the people with money and jobs
Pro: Meet exciting new people!
Con: They all have chlamydia.
Pro: The satisfaction of knowing you helped fund the education of the next generation
Con: Realizing all your money went to a new trampoline park for next year's incoming class
Pro: You get to learn PowerPoint!
Con: You now have to use PowerPoint.
Pro: You're learning from the world's best
Con: Pretty much everything you learn is readily available online and free
NOT SATIRE: Praxis is a year-long apprenticeship program that matches you with a full-time, paid job at a growing business. The program offers a direct route into high-potential careers for driven young people without the cost and hassle of college. Babylon Bee readers can earn a $1,000 tuition scholarship to a 2021 cohort and join hundreds of successful college opt-outs. Click here for a free book on personal growth and scholarship information.