BURBANK, CA—In conjunction with Warner Bros. Studios, the Wachowskis have released a new cut of The Matrix where Neo just takes the blue pill.
The revised cut will be approximately 30 minutes long, as Neo will take the blue pill and then just go about his pretend life blissfully unaware of humanity's enslavement in the real world. Credits will roll as Neo wakes back up in his computer-generated existence and lives happily ever after.
"The red pill has been co-opted by the alt-right, and we just needed to set the record straight," said Lilly Wachowski. "Now Neo will no longer take the problematic red pill and will instead support the status quo and not cause any problems. It's much safer this way. Just think about how much happier Neo will be."
The movie ends as Morpheus tells Neo, "You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe."
"OK," says Neo. "That sounds great."
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