Everyone who has kids knows that the most important part of child-rearing is helping your kids become WOKE. Fortunately, there are many kids' shows that have made our job of indoctrination easier! Here are the 7 best woke shows for kids:
Caillou: Caillou made history as the first androgynous, gender-fluid main character in a children's show. Way to go, kid!
Reading Rainbow: Reading. Rainbows. The two things conservatives fear most. Plus, it featured the first black man ever to appear on television. Awesome!
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey Mouse is bisexual. Oh - you didn't know that? That's because Disney is announcing it next year. Congrats to Mickey for his bravery.
Speed Racer: Chim-Chim and Spritle removed the stigma around smuggling illegals in the trunk of your car.
Blippi: He's secretly a member of Antifa.
Dora the Explorer: We've never watched this show because the voices are so freaking annoying but it seems borderline unwatchable so it's probably woke. Force your kids to watch it!
Gunsmoke: We think it's a pretty safe bet that every person Marshal Matt Dillon killed in that show was a homophobe. Take that, bigots!
Well, there you have it! Now, plop your kid down in front of the TV and let these shows do the rest!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
