Texas Court Rules Marriage Invalid If ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ Not Played At Wedding Reception
Life · Dec 1, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

DALLAS, TX — In a surprise legal move, a Texas court has ruled any marriage totally and completely invalid if the country classic "Cotton Eye Joe" is not played at least once during the wedding reception.

"A marriage must be sealed by the authority of the State of Texas and by the musical powers of bluegrass-techno-country-pop band Rednex's hit single 'Cotton Eye Joe,'" Judge John Jackson told reporters. "I see no legal way around it."

The ruling comes after a Waco wedding celebration in which the bride and groom left the reception before the DJ played the beloved Texan anthem. Guests were left stunned and confused; many stayed at the Holiday Inn Corral of Bliss ballroom until dawn waiting for the song that never came.

"I mean, where did it go? Furthermore, where did it come from?" questioned wedding guest Chuck Ford. "I know I'd have been married a long time ago if the government could only pass a law about Cotton Eye Joe."

Advocates of the new law believe the court ruling will ensure wedding guests are never again left in a situation of confusion at a Texan wedding.

"The good people of Texas deserve to jump and swivel to the top-tapping redneck Rednex classic," Judge Jackson said. "Never again will a wedding reception end without at least one, if not many, joyous gyrations to a song that may or may not have been written and performed by meth addicts."

At publishing time, a federal court in Maine had also ruled any marriage invalid that does not play the Isley Brothers classic "Shout" at least once.

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