U.S. — Following yet another controversial incident in recent days involving federal immigration enforcement involvement in the death of a motorist, a new study showed a mysterious link between trying to run over ICE agents and bullets striking the windshield of your vehicle.
The study was conducted over the last several days, after renewed public outcry over the alarming rise in shooting deaths resulting from drivers attempting to run over ICE agents. The data revealed a strong correlation, but researchers are still digging deeper.
"There seems to be a direct connection between the two," said lead researcher Dr. Greg Jasper. "In all of the cases we inspected as part of our study, we found that pressing the gas pedal of your car and causing the vehicle to advance toward an ICE agent almost invariably results in multiple bullets being fired through your windshield."
Though research was ongoing, the team conducting the study urged caution for anyone who may consider trying to run over ICE agents with their cars. "The evidence would seem to make a strong argument against doing it," Jasper explained. "Trying to hit a federal immigration officer — or any member of law enforcement, for that matter — with your vehicle exponentially increases your chances of having hot wads of lead fired at you through the windshield of your car. It is our recommendation, based on what we've seen, that you don't do it."
At publishing time, a similar study revealed a shocking connection between resisting arrest and being thrown to the ground and tased by police.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
