SALEM, OR — Foothill Unified School District has expelled student Casey Whitman after she hatefully held up a mirror to her teacher, Mx. Jen Littleton, reflecting Littleton's deranged rant on gender identity, pronouns, and sex changes.
"By merely holding up a mirror to Mx. Littleton's insane views, Whitman was targeting xer for harassment and endangering xer life," said the district superintendent. "Can you imagine if someone saw that? The little monster needs to be stopped. The kid, I mean."
According to sources, Littleton saw herself giving an absolutely insane speech where she told the class of second graders that they might be the wrong gender and that they should consider mutilating their bodies to be happier in life. She was horrified as she saw herself shouting about how much she hated Trump, America, and cisgendered people, and she was especially shocked when she saw herself leading the class in a pledge of allegiance to the pride flag.
After viewing her own insanity, Littleton concluded that the real problem was the little girl reflecting her views in the mirror.
"I saw the insanity that I was spouting, and I realized that this student amplifying my views was the real hateful bigot," said Littleton through tears. "How dare this little girl reflect my own maniacal babblings back to me!"
Whitman has been banned from Twitter, Facebook, Fortnite, and popular knitting site Ravelry.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: