SEATTLE, WA — A strong, independent woman accompanied a strong, independent woman to the restroom in a pub in downtown Seattle, according to sources.
"Just because I want my bestie with me at all times doesn't mean I'm not independent!" said Kira Jules, a strong, independent woman standing next to her friend, also a strong, independent woman.
The women said they have always been capable on their own as they stood in the hallway waiting for the restroom together. "I do everything on my own," said Kira's friend, Sasha Wallens, "Except when I'm out having fun, or at work, or shopping, and especially when I'm going to the bathroom!"
Several studies on strong, independent women have confirmed that they tend to be completely dependent on each other and often travel in herds, leading many experts to question what "strong, independent woman" actually means.
At publishing time, the women parted temporarily to go home and curl up on the couch to watch Hallmark movies about relationships between strong, independent women who fall for small-town lumberjacks.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
