ONTARIO, CA — A local man was eager to rock out alone in his car while blasting the epic soundtrack from the film The Greatest Showman, but he made certain all the windows of his vehicle were closed tightly before doing so.
"I'm just completely addicted to this soundtrack," shouted Jordan Duckworth over the excessive volume of his car stereo. "I initially just heard it when my wife was watching the movie, and I know that this isn't really something guys do, but…man, listen to that Hugh Jackman sing!"
"A million dreams are all it's gonna TAAAAAKKKKKKKKKE!"
Jordan had a previous close call while stopped at a traffic light, blaring the track "This Is Me" with his car windows down. "I was sitting there at the light, just belting out the lyrics, and I look over and see one of my old high school classmates," Duckworth said. "I just ducked my head down, stomped on the gas pedal, and blew through the red light to get out of there. Hopefully, he didn't recognize me."
Jordan's enjoyment of the soundtrack had threatened to spread beyond his time spent in his car, however. "I just can't get enough of it. I've started playing it in my earbuds when I work out at the gym, but I've caught myself breaking out into some dancing in between sets," he said. "I just lose control sometimes."
At publishing time, Jordan was contemplating letting the world know how much he loved the soundtrack. "I can still be manly and love these songs, right?" he asked. "I think it's time for me to come out…as someone who loves listening to The Greatest Showman, I mean."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
