Stewardess Politely Asks Passengers To Raise Tray Tables Before Takeoff And Also Please Check If The Plane Has Both Wings
Life · Jan 25, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

CHICAGO, IL — Travelers on a recent airline flight experienced a noticeable difference in the pre-flight instructions, as the stewardess politely asked passengers to raise their tray tables before takeoff and also please check if the plane had both wings.

Though all passengers were accustomed to the standard safety speech before takeoff, they reported the flight attendant's instructions included making sure their seat backs were in the upright position, stowing all carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment or under the seats in front of them, and also giving the cabin a good once-over to make sure there were not missing bolts or engines hanging precariously by a couple of flimsy wires.

"Thank you for choosing United," the stewardess reportedly said. "As we prepare for takeoff on our non-stop service to Philadelphia, we ask that you fasten your seatbelts, make sure all electronics are powered off or in airplane mode, and if you are in a window seat, please take a brief look outside to make sure the wings haven't fallen off. If you see any flames coming from the aircraft engines, please press the call button above your head before we attempt to take off. Thank you, and enjoy your flight."

Passengers reported feeling uneasy about the updated pre-flight speech. "It was a little unsettling, yeah," said one traveler. "I'm used to them telling us about seatbelts and oxygen masks and life vests, but when she asked us to look out for any fuel leaking out of the airplane, that was a bit alarming."

At publishing time, the flight arrived safely at its destination with both wings intact and having only lost one engine and two landing gears during the trip.


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