Politics
Spanish Orderly Hidalgo Clintoniña Welcomes Trump To Walter Reed Medical Center

BETHESDA, MD—A Spanish orderly working at Walter Reed Medical Center welcomed the president and informed him that he would be working closely to ensure the president was back to full health as quickly as possible.

The orderly introduced himself as Hidalgo Clintoniña.

"My name is Hidalgo Clintoniña. You contracted COVID. Prepare to be... cured," the nurse said as the suspicious-looking Spaniard locked himself in the room with President Trump.

"Wait -- what are you doing with that IV?" asked a concerned Trump. "Why does that packet have a skull and crossbones on it? Help! Nurses! Help!"

The mysterious orderly's plot foiled, Clintoniña -- if that is his real name -- leaped out a window to a waiting helicopter. "I'll get you next time, Trump! Looks like Clintoniña's blasting off agaaaaaain!"

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