MONTGOMERY, AL - In an update Wednesday to its Hatewatch blog, the Southern Poverty Law Center announced the newest addition to its authoritative list of hate groups: the Southern Poverty Law Center.
"We have identified an organization with a clear history of rank intolerance toward faith communities based solely upon their sincerely held religious convictions," the statement reads. "This organization has encouraged ostracism and threats toward people, politicians, and businesses that do not adhere to its rigid progressive agenda. It has existed and operated right under our noses for years. It is known as the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC)."
The statement continued, "Now that we have identified our very own organization as a hate group and added the SPLC to the 'Extremist Files' section of our website, we will oppose ourselves and our radical agenda with vigor, and we will slander and boycott any person or group that associates with us or cites our intolerant, anti-Christian, identity-politics-driven list of so-called 'hate groups.' We will also be opening new litigation against ourselves for defamation, libel, and human rights violations."
After the announcement, major media outlets accepted the SPLC's new distinction without question, but immediately ran into a catch-22 - how to malign the newly-anointed hate group without citing the newly-anointed hate group.
At publishing time, the press was still unsure how to deal with the paradox.