Politics U.S.
Socialists Gather On Labor Day To Protest Concept Of Labor

U.S.—The Democratic Socialists of America organized hundreds of large-scale protests across the country on Labor Day this year, with socialists all over the nation gathering to protest the concept of organized work, labor in general, and lifting a finger to do anything.

Socialist demonstrators expressed concerns that the holiday could encourage more people to get a steady job and subsequently no longer support the idea of socialism at all.

“This holiday glorifies everything we hate—working any amount, going to a job and getting a paycheck that you keep for yourself—in fact, the very name ‘Labor Day’ could be triggering to those who don’t want to work,” a socialist protester who simply goes by the name “Bjorn” told reporters. “Down with work! Down with work!”

“What do we want? Our lifestyle paid for by someone else! When do we want it? Now!” the crowd began chanting.

While DSA spokespeople acknowledged that the holiday was originally supposed to honor the working class and union movements that leftists claim to support, they stated that their views have progressed to the point that they can no longer in good conscience support a holiday that “hatefully promotes the idea of working for a living.”