Hasbro Introduces New ‘Transition Me Elmo’ Doll
Entertainment · Apr 19, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

NEW YORK, NY — The creative minds behind the long-running children's television show Sesame Street have partnered with Hasbro to come up with what they believe will be this year's hot new toy: the Transition Me Elmo doll.

"This is the perfect toy to give to children of any age!" said Samantha Maltin, Chief Marketing & Brand Officer at Sesame Workshop. "No matter the stage of your child's development, there's no wrong time to introduce them to the exciting new world of gender reassignment! Transition Me Elmo will have your youngster questioning their identity in no time!"

The new doll is set to coincide with Sesame Street's new push for inclusive subject matter, featuring the show's iconic characters embracing new ideas and worldviews to better train young minds to reject the most foundational concepts of science, family dynamics, and morality. "If beloved characters like Elmo, Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, and Bert & Ernie aren't trusted to teach your children who they are and what gender and sexual roles define them as human beings, then who will?" Maltin continued.

The doll will not only offer young impressionable children the opportunity to transition Elmo to any number of genders but also play pre-recorded progressive lessons when various body parts are squeezed, such as:

  • I have boy parts, but I feel like I'm a girl!
  • You were born in the wroooooong body!
  • Puberty blockers have no side effects! He he he!
  • DEATH BEFORE DETRANSITION!

At publishing time, the creators of the doll were hoping to secure a guest appearance by TikTok personality Dylan Mulvaney to promote the doll on the show, since Mulvaney has become such a proven advertising commodity.

Babylon Bee subscriber Bill Krause contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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