Politics
Unidentified Suspect Seen Defacing NYC Mural To Read 'Orange Lives Matter'

NEW YORK, NY—The NYPD announced it is investigating the hate crime of a man who graffitied over the city's sanctioned graffiti, changing the previous Black Lives Matter slogan to read "ORANGE" Lives Matter.

The unknown vandal snuck out to the street in the middle of the night and scrubbed the word "BLACK" off the mural, painting over it with the word "ORANGE."

"Our suspect looks to be about 6'3", 243 pounds, with orange hair and matching skin," said an NYPD detective at a press conference this morning. "We don't know who this man could be, but if anyone has any information, please come forward. We were trying to own the president with a savage burn with this mural, and we can't have our political games ruined by ne'er-do-well vigilantes."

The suspect has also sent the police a cryptic note cut out of magazine letters, reproduced below:

"The word 'Trump' at the end is of particular interest to us," the detective said. "The suspect is taunting us, saying his painting 'trumped' our painting. We'd really like to know who did this. Please, New York -- we must stop this mad man."

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