Report: Chinese Spies Using TikTok To Steal All America's Top-Secret Dance Moves
Entertainment · Jul 10, 2020 ·

BEIJING - Tensions have heated up in the relationship between the U.S. and China thanks to the proposal to ban TikTok over spying allegations.

Experts claim that Chinese spies are using the app to steal all of America's top-secret dance moves. Authorities warn that this could be devastating should a dance battle heat up between the two nations, as the Chinese will already have learned how to "pop, lock, and drop it" American-style, robbing us of our chance to surprise them with a devastating dance move.

Insiders say Chinese agents are working overtime watching TikTok videos and trying to copy Americans' best moves.

"The Savage, the Oh na na na, the Renegade -- they're stealing all our most fire stuff!" said a concerned NSA agent. "If this keeps up, we'll definitely get served by the Chinese when this thing turns into an all-out dance battle. We'll be stuck doing lame stuff like the floss and the dab. It would be totally devastating."

The Chinese government may pull the plug on the TikTok spying program, however, as most of their spies are going insane after a few short hours watching TikTok videos all day.


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