Scientists Who Didn't Predict A Single Thing Accurately For Last 12 Months Confident They Know What The Weather Is Going To Be Like In 100 Years
World

WORLD—Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models are "pretty confident" they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years, sources confirmed Wednesday.

"Yes, we were off by a factor of about 1 billion in our predictions for what happened over the last few months, but trust us: we know exactly what the climate is going to be like in a century," said leading scientific authority Dr. Garth Wendybrook at a press conference. "See, I have this lab coat and this Bunsen burner here." At this point, he gestured toward a Bunsen burner sitting on the table in front of him, but he accidentally caught his sleeve on fire. "Fire hot! Fire hot!" the scientist cried before diving in a nearby vat of acid to put it out.

Post-press-conference analysis indicated his observations were correct, and the fire was hot.

The scientists say they have settled on a climate model that confirms the earth's average temperature will be either 1 million degrees Celsius or below freezing, give or take 1 million degrees.

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