As Nation Reopens, Churches Having To Remind People To Put On Pants
Church · Apr 29, 2020 ·

U.S. - Some churches across the nation have begun reopening, but pastors are running into a problem as many parishioners are forgetting to put on pants.

Having grown accustomed to attending church on their couch in their underwear, Christians are having trouble adjusting to the old way of doing church, where you have to put on clothes. "We'd just gotten used to rolling out of bed, plopping down on the couch, and turning on the service 10 minutes late," said churchgoer Peter Wiley. "Now, they expect me to adjust back to wearing clothes and brushing my teeth and stuff? No way."

"Remember, you have to come in your Sunday best -- or at least, put on some pants," said a visibly exasperated Pastor Gavin Stanley of Texas. "We had a small prayer meeting last night, and while most people put on nice dress shirts, most forgot their pants entirely. It was horrifying."

Parishioners are also forgetting to comb their hair and take a shower. But pastors' biggest concern right now is the pants. "Baby steps," said Pastor Gavin. "If we can get their pants on, we'll consider that a win."

"Plus, the churchgoers kept pulling out remotes and trying to mute me," he added.

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