U.S. — Bible scholars now believe the verse in Genesis about people being naked and without shame was a prophecy about Walmart customers.
"The ancient prophecy has come to pass," said theologian Bart Harmon as he surveyed his local Walmart. "There is...no shame in this place."
Originally thought to describe the innocence of Eden, the verse in Genesis came under new scrutiny after Bible scholars realized it also described Walmart. "Does this make Walmart an Edenic Paradise?" asked Old Testament Professor Roger Carmichael. "There are many theological questions still to be answered here. All I know for sure is that I went to Walmart to buy a coffee maker, and I observed a multitude of people without pants who clearly felt no shame."
Interviews with Walmart customers confirmed that they do not have clothes on and feel pretty good about it. "Embarrassed? Heck no," said Walmart customer Ben Douglass. "Just have to be careful not to spill my Icee. Hey, why are you wearing pants?"
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
