PEPPATOWN — Peppa Pig's family vacation took an unexpected turn for the worse after Jesus of Nazareth healed a nearby demoniac.
"Mommy Pig, why is Auntie Pig screaming and running into the sea?" asked Peppa Pig. "Oh wow, George Pig! How did you learn to spin your head all the way around like that?"
According to eyewitnesses, the Pig family had been enjoying a relaxing day building sandcastles before suddenly rushing to drown themselves in the sea. "I asked Peppa to please hand me the shovel, and then she shouted 'All hail Beelzebub!' and dashed into the water," said Rebecca Rabbit, sobbing. "What - what just happened?"
Citizens of the nearby village were reportedly furious that Jesus allowed the demons to go into the pigs. "Ugh, there went my kids' entertainment," said local man Abiah, son of Phineas. "Do you know how hard it is to get anything done with fourteen kids? They had all been happily watching those pigs play on the beach, and this Jesus guy had to ruin it by healing the town demoniac. Jesus has to go."
At publishing time, the villagers had asked Jesus on his way out to send a few demons to chase away this explorer named Dora.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.