JERUSALEM — Scholars at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem now claim that Moses considered himself incapable of speech because of his thick Jersey accent.
In Exodus 4:10, Moses is quoted as saying, "I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." Previously, scholars believed this was merely a self-esteem issue on the part of Moses, but now faculty members in Hebrew University's Department of Jewish Thought say Moses was not shy at all. He just spoke like a New Jersey native with a nasally voice, dropping r's from some words and lengthening "a" and "o" sounds.
"This would have caused people, particularly Pharaoh, to not take him seriously," said Professor Noah Boram, a linguist professor at Hebrew University. "Moses was actually being quite practical."
Per this new revelation, the aforementioned passage should be reckoned as such according to University officials: "O my Lawd, I ain't eloquent, neitha naw, nor since ya started talkin' ta ya servant: but I'm from the shore, an' of a slow tongue."
Professor Boram explained how Moses would have developed the unusual accent: "Moses was raised by the Egyptians so it didn't make much sense that he would be slow of speech. Now, thanks to new manuscript evidence, we've learned that he developed a strange Jersey accent because even though he learned Egyptian from an early age, his natural mother served as a wet nurse to him for approximately 2-4 years. And as we all know, mixing Hebrew and Egyptian accents makes anyone sound like they're from New Jersey."
"This is probably why he hit the rock instead of speaking to it as well," Boram added, referencing the biblical story of Moses striking a rock in the wilderness to provide water for his people. "I wouldn't expect a rock to release water if I spoke with a Jersey accent."
At publishing time, scholars suggested Aaron, the brother of Moses, spoke with a refined British accent like most ancient peoples from foreign lands.
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