WASHINGTON, D.C.—Over a year into her incredibly long tenure in the Trump administration, Sarah Sanders has finally resigned after a tense, awkward White House press briefing in which she was forced to defend recent comments made by the president in which he claimed The Last Jedi was the best Star Wars film “by a long shot.”
Sanders has had to defend extremely controversial comments made by the president for many months, but finally cracked under the pressure of having to defend Trump’s latest claim.
The White House press secretary was visibly frustrated throughout the briefing as reporters grilled her on Trump’s obviously indefensible comments, before finally screaming at the reporters gathered and announcing that she quit. “Trump absolutely is correct in his, uh, in his statements that The Last Jedi is the best… you know what? I can’t do this anymore. Trump’s a frakkin’ liar. I can’t believe he thinks Last Jedi is better than any of the original trilogy. I mean, the prequels, yeah, OK, you might have an argument there. But if you think TLJ is better than Empire, I just can’t in good conscience serve on this administration anymore. I QUIT!”
“It was a bridge too far,” she said later in an interview with CNN, her eyes downcast. “I mean, that whole Canto Bight scene was ridiculous. And what the heck was the point of Rose in the first place? A capital ship jumping to lightspeed through another ship? Bombers dropping bombs in zero gravity? There’s just so much wrong with the whole thing.”
Sanders also stated she couldn’t figure out why the characters didn’t just talk to each other, rather than keeping each other in the dark as to their plans. “The whole movie could have been resolved in like 30 minutes.”
At publishing time, Trump’s approval rating had plummeted to “almost nothing,” according to several polling organizations.