LAS VEGAS — San Franciscans continued crapping in the streets to honor the incredible way in which the 49ers so epically crapped the bed.
"This is what we deserve!!" shouted Christian McCaffrey as he dumped an entire jug of poo onto Coach Kyle Shanahan. "This is what it means to be San Francisco!"
All across San Francisco, citizens joined in letting out their rage by running out into the streets and flinging poo into the air. Widespread looting, arson, and gunfire were reported throughout the city, leaving police relieved that nothing was out of the ordinary.
At publishing time, the city had announced the defeated team would be welcomed home with a ticker tape poo parade.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.