PARIS — In an unfortunate turn of events, the Olympic referee officiating in Women's Boxing was incapable of fitting the female boxing medal over the medalist's giant Adam's apple.
Reports from the medal ceremony confirmed that the Olympic official tried several times, yet was completely unable to jam the woman's-throat-sized medal over the enormous Adam's apple of the suspiciously XY-chromesomed boxer who destroyed his last three opponents by 30-second knockout.
"It was really embarrassing," recalled Jim Fischer, who has been an official at the last four Olympics games. "The darn ribbon just wouldn't stretch over the two-inch bump on the medalist's throat. I kept shoving and shoving and it just wouldn't go. It was so awkward. I ended up just giving the medalist one of those ‘bro hugs' instead. They just don't make women like they used to."
Spectators report that Fischer eventually pinned the medal to the boxer's oddly flat, muscular chest after several minutes of unsuccessfully struggling to fit it over the fighter's prominent larynx.
At publishing time, in an official act of congratulations, the country of the gold medalist in Women's Boxing has said that he won't have to pay to replace the female singlet which he stretched out in the nether regions.
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