Florida Governor and presumptive 2024 Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis has faced increasing questions about his electability amid damning allegations that during a private flight in 2019, he found himself without a spoon and still proceeded to consume a pudding cup with 3 fingers. Horrifying!
Here are 23 newly revealed DeSantis eating habits that may spell doom for his White House ambitions:
- String Cheese - chomps right into without even peeling off strings
- Raisin Bran - separates it and first eats one bowl of just raisins, then a bowl of just bran flakes
- Cheetos - crushes them up in his hands and licks them off
- Fish - tosses his head back and swallows it whole like a pelican
- Apple Juice - dips his shirt sleeves into the juice and wrings it out into his mouth
- Animal Crackers - pretends he's a giant devouring all the helpless creatures of the jungle
- Oreos - licks the frosting off, puts the cookies back into the package
- Pop Rocks - leans over next to your ear and opens his mouth
- French Fries - cracks them open to eat the insides like crab legs
- Chicken Nuggets - meticulously peels the skin off first
- Bugles - sticks them onto his fingers and pretends he's Wolverine
- Teddy Graham's - names them all and makes up little bear adventures for them to go on in Bearland
- Fun Dip - snorts it
- Oranges - tosses it down the hatch whole and unpeeled
- Apples - same as oranges
- Pizza - picks the toppings off with chopsticks and then slurps the cheese off
- PB&J - uses the same knife in both peanut butter & jelly jars, licks off in between applications
- Hamburger - takes a bite then squirts the condiments in his mouth
- Sushi - politely uses a fork and knife
- Rice - raw, one grain at a time, chewed like sunflower seeds
- Chicken Wings - crunches down the whole thing, swallows the bone
- Subway - nothing weird here, just the fact that he eats Subway
- Alphabet Soup - rearranges the letters to spell out "President Ron DeSantis"
And that's it. Before he could even get started, DeSantis was finished. It was nice knowing you, Ron!
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