U.S. — Following a raft of new polls this week showing GOP gains in key Senate battleground states, Republicans were seen Googling "What to do after winning an election," while dabbing beads of sweat from their brows.
"This is unprecedented; it sort of feels like someone's stealing the election, but not the way we planned," said Senator Mitch McConnell, who has spent the past two years helping Republican Senators to not get re-elected through tactics such as voting with Democrats, acting like Democrats, and having no moral backbone.
Other popular trending searches among Republicans slated to win midterm elections include:
- "How do you get your constituents to not vote for you?"
- "What does 'majority vote' mean?"
- "Points to lose if I come out in support of Beto O'Rourke?"
- "Liz Cheney campaign strategy."
- "Liz Cheney phone number."
At publishing time, Rep. Kevin McCarthy was seen reading the book, What To Do When You Become House Speaker Despite Your Best Efforts.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
