MILWAUKEE, WI — Several conservative attendees at the Republican National Convention have recently stepped forward to express their concern for the party's direction after the third day of the convention opened up with an invocation of the Lovecraftian cosmic entity Cthulhu.
The worried delegates said that they were concerned that the Republican party might be betraying some of the most important concerns for conservative Christians in its voter base, especially by invoking a fictional entity named "Cthulhu" as if he both existed and was a god.
"It's just a little bit sketchy, that's all we're claiming," said Charles Meekerson, a pro-life, traditionally-minded Republican. "I mean, the whole thing with calling Waheguru the ‘one true god'. I mean, what even is a Waheguru? Like, the pokemon? And now this Cthulhu incantation with all the magic dust and wizards up on stage…I'm starting to think that maybe the Republican party isn't completely supportive of us conservative Christians."
Convention officials have reassured Meekerson and his fellow worried delegates that there is nothing to worry about as there will be a Christian prayer later to drive out any demons that were accidentally summoned.
At publishing time, Meekerson had grown even more concerned after seeing an invocation of Tsathoggua, Cthugha, and Ithaqua scheduled for day four.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions