U.S. — According to several reports, everyone from your Jr. High class still thinks about that one time you forgot to zip up your fly, and they laugh about it every single day.
"Hey, remember when that one kid got up in front of our class to give a presentation, and his fly was ALL THE WAY DOWN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?! Hahahahahaha!," one of your old classmates is currently saying to another at the local place where they regularly gather to laugh at you. "What a dork!"
Sources say all your old friends, their parents, and the high school teacher you had a huge crush on meet up in person or over the phone almost every day to reminisce and laugh about the most humiliating experience of your life.
"And then I said: 'Hey are you afraid of heights? BECAUSE YOUR FLY IS!' Ha ha! CLASSIC!" another one of your old classmates is currently saying, according to witnesses.
Reliable reports also indicate that they have all called your boss at work to tell him of the embarrassing incident, which will surely become the talk of the office.
At publishing time, sources confirmed that the people from your 2nd-grade class are also currently laughing about the time you wet your pants because you waited too long to go to the bathroom during recorder practice.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
